I’ve been struggling to formulate and write what I feel inspired to share.
It is simply not flowing easily.
I have started 2 different writings and I am finding it difficult to get in my groove of flowing clearly and articulating what I want to say.
I am thinking it is because I have some stuff showing up around the actual leaving the business in Modesto.
I feel excited to fully plant my roots here in Lincoln, CA. and I am terrified to make the jump and have no real financial security.
This is stirring up all kinds of different feelings about JUMPING and taking the risk.
No matter what all the evidence has shown me over the years, I still have fear of leaving something that has been my primary income for the last 5 years. It has not been my only source as I’ve begun building my business here in Lincoln, but I have been quite reluctant to put all my eggs in this basket.
I’ve been on the fence about building a massage business, because my heart lies in the coaching and mentoring people.
I did take the leap and hire a coach last January to get moving on the business side of the coaching.
I did that with the goal of being able to stop driving to Modesto every month.
NOW, it is here and it feels like it is the right time and I become gripped by this terror
and anxiety I cannot even begin to explain.
I see the evidence and logic of my whole life and yet, when I give any thought to
leaving I feel my heart rate rise and my chest becomes constricted.
These are the a few of the beliefs showing up: (I’m sure there are more)
1- I must take care of myself, which I can’t say I’ve ever fully done 100% of the time anyway.
2- I must keep the secure job and money flow.
3- I don’t have what it takes to really be successful.
This is all from how I was parented and the generation my parents came from.
AAAALLLL the evidence in my WHOLE LIFE shows me that those beliefs are all B.S. and NOT true.
It is clear to me that I get to keep stepping into the tools and skills I’ve been implementing over the years. These very things I mentor and coach others to utilize.
It’s crazy how when I’m in the midst of my own stuff I forget the very things I’ve been taught to use.
One of mine is writing, which is why I’m sharing this with you.
I get to trust the evidence that has been repeatedly shown and STOP telling the Universe to give me more, because what I’ve seen so far is not enough. Keep showing me more… I need more, it’s not enough yet (if I stay here, It will never be enough).
This is what most of us do to ourselves and others when we aren’t willing to trust and have faith it will come together.
I judge my judgment of where I think I should be. This is what I mentor coach others on, so I should be beyond this.
Well, the human factor still plays into this life and as far as I have come, I continue to get tripped up and, then, I consciously choose to dive deeper into my own reprogramming and healing journey.
Here’s what I am doing to move forward and keep the flow going:
1- I am writing about it.
2- I am talking to people I trust and I’m willing to receive their support.
3- I am making a plan about how to move closer to my goal.
4- I am praying to be aligned in the flow and taking the inspired action to move forward.
5- I am TAKING THE LEAP OF FAITH.
6- I am TRUSTING THE EVIDENCE.
How do you talk yourself off the ledge?
What are the actions you take to keep moving forward?
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